Google
What is Co-Managed Care for Veterans?

Start a Discussion

Get Involved and start your discussion now. Our members will discuss with you!

Start a Discussion

Subscribe to our Newsletter

* 
* 

What Should I Do When I Get Depressed Cause of My Fiance Being Deployed?

Military Authority Member
Christy Talley June 13th, 2011

Every since the moment that I've got with my Fiance, I've stayed depressed since he's sooo far away and I feel as if he is unsafe. What is some options to where I can try to avoid being depressed all of the time?


Replies

Military Authority Member
Jerilyn Marler June 16th, 2011

Hi Christy,

First I want to give you a big hug. I know from personal experience how beastly deployment separations are. You are smart to reach out and ask for help.

Yes, your man is far away and possibly in danger. The reality is that nothing you say or do or feel will change that. It is out of your control. The more you dwell on it, the more stuck you become in that horrible limbo land where nothing seems to help.

So what to do? Be fully engaged in today, RIGHT NOW, with the people around you, your friends and family, your work. You don't have to feel like getting involved, just do it anyway. Here's the thing: emotion follows action. When you behave a certain way, your emotions will naturally swing to fit that behavior. When you are sunk in a funk, your emotions stay tied to that funk. When you get out and DO stuff, laugh, seek out pleasurable time with friends, your emotional state will follow suit. Ask your friends and family to help you laugh, often. Big, deep belly laughs. It's truly the cheapest, best medicine there is.

Remember this: your man does not want you to spend his deployment in a funk. It isn't helpful to him to get messages about how sad and blue you are. That will add to his burden and worry, which is the last thing you want to do, right? He loves you. He wants you to be happy. He wants to know that you're *living* your life. He's growing and changing with his experiences. Grow and change along with him, in your own ways. When you come together again at the end of deployment, you will bring a fuller life experience, a wealth of great stories, confidence, and happiness to the reunion. How sweet will that be? Awesomely sweet. You both deserve that. And it's in your power to make it happen.

Warmly,

Jerilyn
author: "Lily Hates Goodbyes"
http://lilyhatesgoodbyes.com
A book especially for young military children


Military Authority Member
Jhenn Cochran June 21st, 2011

Wow, I truely couldn't have said it better! great advice Jerilyn! yes Christy I strongly agree with her. When something as important as a Deployment happends within your relationship you must take advantage of the time you have apart. You have to learn to grow as Jerilyn explained to you. As hard as it has been for me, and it has been hard, I know that my husbands job is the most important one in our entire nation as far as I'm concerned! lol! He does have a significant purpose, but so don't you. Your job is the obvious, while he's doing his thing, you have got to woman up and support him, as much as you will cry yourself to sleep EVERY night, you must be that Mans backbone! Don't let your soldier down Good luck and God Bless..
jhenn c


Military Authority Member
Jerilyn Marler June 27th, 2011

Hi Jhenn, thanks for joining the discussion! Is your husband deployed at the moment? It's such a wrenching experience. The more we can find strength in each other, the better!

Christy, how are you doing? Are you finding ways to be busy, engaged in your life? Hope you're hanging in there!

Warmly,

Jerilyn

Add Your Comments